Flower Of My Heart
by Midnight Tiger
Summary: Childhood gives way to maturity as five fate-bound souls are ensnared in a tangle of fate and circumstance. Choices are made, and friendships forged as love is discovered, and the Marauders come into being. RL/SB SLASH! PG-13
1. Of Pranks and Men

Title: Flower of my Heart

Author: Midnight Tiger

Dedication: To my dearest Wolf. Whose love means more to me than life it's self. She is the true flower of my heart. PURRRRRR! 

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. My story = no $ end of disclaimer! 

Summary: Childhood gives way to maturity as five fate-bound souls are ensnared in a tangle of fate and circumstance. Choices are made, and friendships forged as love is discovered, and the Marauders come into being. RL/SB SLASH! PG-13

Warning: THIS IS SLASH! You don't like it? LEAVE!

A/N: this is my first HP fic, and the first fic that I'm posting here. R/R and enjoy. 

  
It feels strange walking these halls with no company other than the ghosts that roam the school. In another day or so these many classrooms will be filled with the sounds of quills on parchment and lectures about everything from spells to stars. The feeling of these walls cradling me as I roam at this late hour is comforting. It is almost as if there is nothing outside of this compound. No war, no famine, no evil. Other than that of the Slytherin house who, nine times out of ten have little or no redeeming qualities about them. It is sad for a teacher, a headmaster, a man, to see ones so young harbor such feelings of hate and aggression. 

And this year, yes this year will be interesting. Never before has Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry accepted a werewolf into its fold, but with a new century come new insights, and many changes. Precautions have been made and fortunately there should be very little chance of the students learning of the poor boy's secrets. Lycanthropy was rarely heard of since the days of the mass slaughter, where those with lycanthropy and other such diseases were systematically killed off in order to 'preserve the human race.' Even though such ignorance is not as wide spread these days, there are still many biases that most wizards have yet to overcome. "It is a pity though," the words reverberating through the tomb-like halls. "The poor boy should not have to hide in order to be accepted." I can't help but sigh. The many professors should be waiting for me in the library by now, so its time.   
***

:::Hogwarts Express::: 

'How in the bloody hell did I manage to get stuck with this baseborn jerk who hasn't washed his hair in months?!' Sirius grumbled to himself as he glanced across the compartment at the black haired boy sitting there scowling out the window. 'What was his name again? Serevus? Something like that I guess, god!' 

"And what are you looking at? Why don't you go bugger off before you really start to annoy me, you stupid little git" the other boy all but snarls at Sirius, enhancing the beast-like appearance, all the way down to his hooked nose.

"Well why don't you go find the rest of your kind before you get yourself hurt! Who knows, you might just find someone who cares" Sirius laughs and watches as Snape scowls at him and glides out of the room, wrapping himself in his robes. "Finally, fresh air." He quips to himself. But the silence lasted only a few moments.

"Can I join you?" a tall, untidy looking boy asks almost cautiously as he pushes his glasses up on his nose. "Some greasy, egotistical prat just kicked me out of my compartment." 

"Yeah, sure! I'm Sirius by the way, Sirius Black, master prankster." Sirius says with a comical flourish of his wand, gesturing the other boy to sit. /P P "Thanks, but I do believe that you're mistaken. For I am known far and wide for my pranks, maybe you have heard of me? James Potter, at your service." James smiles with a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Now that we have that straitened out, you surly know who the true master is."

"Oh-ho! Do I feel a challenge coming on Potter? Well, you have met your match!" Sirius joked, now very happy that he had managed to get rid of What's-his-name. 

"We shall see, my dear Sirius, we shall see. Should we begin the challenge on the first day of classes, or will you need more time than that." James implied. Just as Sirius was about to respond the compartment was once again invaded, but this time by a young beauty that took James' breath away. He looks up at the blushing red haired girl and smiled. "H- hi."

"Sorry about that, if you want I'll leave." She says softly, her lilting sweet words putting a spell on James, who could not take his eyes off of her.

"No, please stay. I'm Sirius, and this is James." He says, trying to snap James out of his enchantment. Luckily it worked and James took over the conversation. "What's your name?" he asks shyly.

Lily's eyes locked with James' and she was lost. Blushing a bit, "Lily Evans." At the sound of her own voice she seemed as though she had woken from a dream with the serene way she smiled. "It's nice to find someone on this train who isn't an insufferable prat." She says, her mood starting to turn dark again. "I mean, the nerve of that jerk, calling me a mudblood!" 

"Ah, my dear lady, it seems we all have something in common, besides sharing the same car. James and I have both had a rather unpleasant run-in with one of our fellow schoolmates. May I ask who you happened to be talking about?" Sirius asks as he kicks James softly in an attempt to gain his attention. 

"Some hateful boy who thinks I should have heard of him. Something- or-other Malfoy. I tried not to listen to much of anything that the idiot said." Lily says with a sigh.

"That's awful!" James says, his eyes flashed in momentary fury. "Why would he say anything like that?" 

"Just because I was born to non-magic parents he thinks he is better than me." She then shakes her head and flashes them both her most beautiful smile. 'They are both very handsome and it would be a shame to let them think all I do is complain.' She muses to herself. "So, tell me about yourselves."  
***

:::Hogwarts. . . Professor Dumbledore's office:::

I can't help but be a bit anxious about meeting the newest addition to our school. All the teachers seemed to take my news well and have agreed to keep Mr. Lupin's secret as well as be a bit understanding around the full moon. "Come in." I look up to see a nervous young boy walk hesitantly into my office, Poppy, Hogwarts resident nurse, not far behind him. "Welcome to Hogwarts Mr. Lupin. If you will step forward and take a seat we can place you in your House and discuss a few things about your special circumstances." My god, the boy looks as if he is about to bolt from the room. "There is nothing to worry about, my dear boy. The other professors and I are the only ones who know about your Lycanthropy and unless you chose to tell someone else, that is the way it shall stay." Finally he sits in one of my offices few chairs and smiles shyly.

"Thank you, Professor. I guess I'm just more used to people being horrified, not understanding." Remus says, trying to relax. 

"This is the sorting hat." I say with a smile, gesturing to the old, worn hat sitting on my desk. "All I need of you is to sit still as I place this on your head, and they we shall sort you into your House." I have to hold back a smile at the almost fearful look on his face as I walk closer, sorting hat in hand. After I place it on his head, the hat comes alive and looks shocked by what it 'sees.'

"Ah, now isn't this odd. Well, never mind about that now, hmmmm. There can only be one real place for one such as you. GRYFFINDOR." 

With a smile I remove the sorting hat and place it on it's shelf. "That wasn't so bad now was it? Now, you will be put into Gryffindor House, but before I have someone take you to your new dorm, we must discuss a few things concerning the full moons. Now, Madam Pomfrey will be the one you go to for any injures or afflictions you may suffer after your monthly ordeal. We also have a special place for you to spend the nights during your transformation. There is a house in a nearby town that has been abandon for many years. Most people believe it to be 'haunted.' It has been boarded up, and therefore you cannot get out and put anyone in danger. There is a tree on the grounds called the 'whomping willow' and all of the students have been warned to stay away from it. This tree guards the entrance to your sanctuary and tomorrow nigh Madam Pomfrey will show you how to gain entrance to this passage. For now, though, I do believe it is time for you to be shown to your dorms," I nod to Poppy and give the young man in front of me a reassuring smile. As they left I began to feel much better about my decision to allow that boy into my school. I didn't give the board much of a choice in the matter, in fact the Ministry of Magic doesn't even know most of the specifics other than the fact that I had a special student enrolled. They most likely imagined someone like the large, docile, Hagrid, but the less they know, the better off this one would be. Yes, everything should go smoothly.  
:::Boy's Dorm- Sirius' POV::: 

'What an odd assortment of roommates I ended up with.' Sirius mused to himself as he listened to James' endless ramblings about Lily. 'I've got a nervous, jittery, mouse of a chap at one end of the room, placing his knickknacks and luck charms on the wall and shelf next to his bed. Then on the bunk next to me I have Mr. Lovesick Puppy himself yammering away about a girl he hardly knows. What next?' As if on cue, Remus enters the room, a small duffel bag in hand and sends a small, soft smile to the rest of us before taking the bed between Peter and myself. All I can think about is how stunning his eyes are. How can one so young have such old eyes. It's as if he is far wiser than his years, and has lived a thousand lifetimes. I watch out of the corner of my eye as the new one unpacks I can't seem to take my eyes off of him, the way he moves, its just so mesmerizing. How can anyone be that graceful? 

"So, what do you think?" James asks, disturbing my maze of thoughts. 

"Hmm?" I turn to him looking a bit puzzled. "Sorry James, what did you say?" 

James looks a bit confused and asks again, "Do you think I should try asking Lily out?" 

"Yeah sure, but only if you're willing to break it off with Susan. Or do you plan on cheating on them both?" I ask a bit ruefully. I really don't think Jamie is that kind of guy but, well, you never really know. "I mean, really James, do you expect that they will be very happy with you hiding things from them, especially with how much you 'adore' Lily. Plus, with our little bet starting tomorrow do you really want to risk it?" I wink at him to let him know I'm just kidding, then I take that opportunity to turn to our newcomer. "Hey, I'm Sirius." I say, with a bit of a smile and the position I find him in. He is lying on his stomach, facing the foot of the bed reading something-or-other, already in his night cloths. He turns to look at me with a bit of puzzlement in his expression. "Sorry, but about what?"

"What?" I asked confused by his question. 

"Yes, you said your serious, but I didn't catch what you said that you are serious about." He says. 

"Oh!" I blush a bit. "Sorry chap, that's my name. Sirius Black." I couldn't help but laugh. 'Why does everyone have to play jokes on my name!' "And you are." I ask, seeing that he had gone back to reading. 

"Oh, I'm..Remus, Remus Lupin." He sits up, closing his book and putting it aside. 

"Why weren't you at the sorting?" James asks, moving from his bed to sit on mine. "I'm James, by the way, and that's Peter." 

Remus nods to them all and evades the question. "When do classes start? I am really looking forward to finding out what were going to learn." 

"Oh, classes s-start tomorrow." Peter says, working his way into the conversation since James had acknowledged his presence. "Your schedule should be on your t-trunk." He stutters a bit nervously. "Thank you, Peter." Remus says with a kind smile, and then picks up his course list. "Well, this doesn't look to bad. Do all of us have the same classes?" 

"The students are place by house and dorm room so each of us should have the same courses for the first and second year, after that we can choose what to take for the most part." Peter puts in, gaining a look from the other three. "What? My grandmother told me." 

"Well, it's been a long day." Remus says, his deep, gentle voice cutting though any thoughts that where in my mind. I had so many questions for this strange boy who seemed to keep himself held close as if to hide from the world. "Goodnight everyone," and that was it, Remus Lupin, the boy who was a man, yet still a boy, closed his curtains and shut out the world. After that, everyone seemed to drift off toward their own beds and the dorm became like death in its silence.

Unlike most nights, I was not able to just fall right into my dream- filled slumber. I wasn't sure if it was because of the strange surroundings or the many disturbing questions running through my mind. Why was he invading my mind like this?   


His mind in a haze of nervousness and confusion, Remus lay on his bed and let the darkness envelop him. It was a long time before sleep claimed him, and his dreams took him into a strange world of humiliation, and pain. He woke several times in a cold sweat, fighting the urge to cry out. The night seemed to drag on as he hovered somewhere between his nightmares and his fear-filled vigil. When finally his mind could take no more, he pulled aside the curtains that surrounded his bed and looked out at his new surroundings. Three other four-posted beds where arranged in the room along with his own, and each contained the sleeping form of his schoolmates. Outside his window a bare sliver of the moon shown. It was nearly morning and soon his bunkmates would awake, filled with questions and curiosities that he was just not yet ready to deal with. 'A hot shower and a bit of food.' He thought to himself, his only wishes at this early hour. After a quick gathering of his books and clothing, Remus made his way to the showers at the end of the hall. 

The warm water raining down on him felt wonderful, softly caressing him and soothing his anxious mind. The shower was so intoxicating that he hated turning off the water and getting dressed. He wished only to be able to let the warmth cradle him for hours, forgetting the worries and fears that the world held for him. But the other boys were starting to awaken and that hurried Remus' movements, compelling him to hastily throw his robes over his underthings and out of the shower room. In his haste to get to the Great Hall, he almost collided with one of his roommates in the hall. 

"Sorry about that Remus." James yawned as he languidly continued on down the hall. "See you at breakfast." He called over his shoulder as he entered the loo. 

The Great Hall was near empty at this early hour, only a few early birds sitting at the various house tables, and one or two professors on the daises. Quietly Remus sat down and buried his nose in a textbook about charms while nibbling at a biscuit with a bit of jam as the other students straggled in a few at a time. Several students that he didn't know sat near him at the table, but soon he was joined by Peter, who seemed to only sit near him because he knew no one else. "Hi Remus. Man, you up early. I didn't even hear ya leave the room." Peter seems eager to please and overly exited when Remus replies. 

"Oh, well I've always been a morning person. I guess that I just prefer hot showers, to cold. So, uh, Peter. Where are you from?" Peter rambles on something about his grandmother and the house that he lives in while James comes in, his hair still a bit wet, but excitement in his eyes. 

"Hey guys, are you in for a treat or what. Sirius and I have a bit of a wager going as to whom is the biggest prankster. Unfortunately for our dear Sirius, he doesn't seem to be much of an early bird, and that shall be his undoing!" James laughed a bit, and Peter quickly joins in with a smile from Remus. 

"James! You miserable little prat! What did you do with my robes!?" James yells across the Great Hall from it's main entrance. " You'd better get your ass back in that dorm room and get me my cloths or so help me I'll, I'll, grrrrr!" With that James, who apparently was clad in naught but a towel, stormed back up the stairs in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. 

James was laughing whole heartedly at the sight and watched as the Gryffindor prefect chased after Sirius, his face full of frustration as he yelled something about decency in ones choice of clothing.  
:::Lily's POV::: 

Though I seem to be the only student in the library, I can help but hide my writings as I scribble away my lunch hour. I managed to nic a few muffins from the breakfast table to tide me over till dinner but hunger is the last thing on my mind. Words and feelings flow freely from my mind, as I think of him, no them. Sirius Black and James Potter. How could there be a more dashing, or more lust-worthy pair of lads to walk into a girls heart. And the sight of Sirius this morning, racing through the halls in nothing but a towel with the prefect chasing after him. Oh but who do I like more!!! Goddess please! Why can't I choose between two such handsome and enthralling people? My heart aches to get to know them but my timid and bashful self cannot be forced, not even by will, to approach them. Blast! The library is starting to fill up with laughing and chatting students, eager to ruin my journal writing time! I slam my journal shut pointedly and gather my things, moving farther into the stacks of books to continue my entry. Now, where was I? Ah yes, Sirius has such compelling eyes. The kind that strive to ensnare your very soul and turn your heart into a slave for his uses. But James, oh James. The way he smiles at me drives me wild. How is it that two such amazing boys could affect me so, and at the same time! Blast it all! And to make matters worse I have the guys in just about every class. Once again I close my notebook but this time I put it away and begin to make my way back through the library. Just as I reach the entrance, Serious comes in and I am starring face to face with one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen. I blush self-consciously as he smiles and nods to me. 

"Lily, right?" I nod and smile back, please that he remembered my name. "How would you like to help me out?" 

I'm a bit confused but I speak up. "Sure, Sirius. How can I help?" That mischievous grin that he had when I first saw him appears. 

"James played a bit of a prank on me this morning. You see, while I was in the shower he nicked all of my cloths and left me naught but a towel. I mean to make him pay dearly. Our dear James may have made the first move, but it is I who will have the last laugh." He chuckles a bit and pulls me back to the same corner I had vacated only moments before. 

"Well," I smile, "what's the plan?" 


	2. Tall Dark And Handsome

A/N: Just want to say a quick thanks to my Wolf, my writer, my beauty   
for my very first note on my very first Fic. ::hugs:: and to thank   
Silent Wishes for your note. now...on with the show!   
  
  
::Remus' POV::   
  
To say that Transfiguration is a difficult class would be an understatement. The word forms and combinations, the concentration and study time that is involved makes it a ghastly class to have right after lunch, but after three days of classes at Hogwarts, I think I'm starting to enjoy it. The hard work is keeping my mind off of the coming full moon and how well Professor Dumbledore's plans for me would work. That night I'm to meet Madame Pomfrey at the castle's main entrance shortly after lights out for she will guide me to my sanctuary. Thus far school has been rather pleasant. The escape from my parents, who are constantly worried that their friends and family will find out about my secret, is more a feeling of relief than sorrow. My bunkmates are pleasant fellows, who seem to accept me thus far, and allow me the privacy and secrets that I needs for both my sanity, and my curse. The only real trouble I have been having is with the students of the Slytherin house, who seemed to have something rude to say to any student from the school's other three houses. Two in particular were becoming more of an annoyance than the others, one Lucius Malfoy and his sidekick Serevus Snape. They both could be considered rather handsome, a perfect contrast to each other one blond with hard features, the other dark with sharper facial features. But one feature they both share, a feature that cancels out all others, is their 'holier than thou' attitude that screams ugliness. With the thought of beauty firm in my mind, I can't help but glance at my bunkmates. Sirius, and James are a pair to say the least. Sirius' height, long dark hair, and stormy gray eyes are a perfect match for James' short brown hair that is always in disarray, and those bright brown eyes hidden behind his glasses that never seem to stay put. And their since of humor is also matched fore they have been plotting and planning prank after prank toward each other since day one of classes, though Sirius had yet to retaliate. Yes those two were meant to be friends, and I must admit that I am a bit jealous of their friendship. I just wish I knew where I fit in the big picture. Friend yes, but close friend? He just couldn't be sure. It tends to be difficult for one such as I to really become truly close to another person. Well, in two days time, when the full moon has passed, I will see how well the others take my story of being sick. It isn't exactly a lie, for Lycanrathopy is a sickness, in a sense. I only wish I didn't have to hide myself from others, didn't have to run from the truth of it all. I am a werewolf! Take me as I am or do not take me at all, I care not...only, I do care. I hate being alone, prowling the woods for a soul mate, a brother, another being who understands, who accepts, who cares. But who am I kidding. This is my life, and no matter how much I wish it weren't so, I must learn to live with it. Now that is odd. Lily Evans just gave Sirius a slip of parchment. I wonder what that's all about?   
  
::Potions::   
  
Professor Pilis stepped in front of the class and leaned forward, hands flat on his desk, and addressed the class. "I want no one in here to have any fantasies about this class. We will not be playing with silly little creatures or wands in my class. What we will be learning is complex, dangerous and serious. ANY foolishness will result in detention and points taken away from your house. I am not the head of ANY house and therefore I do not discriminate. Every student is treated equally, and therefore, punished equally." With a smirk on his face, he turned toward the blackboard and began to jot notes. "I want each of you to take notes off of the board. If there is something written up here when you enter class, write it down. Notes will be taken during lectures and any student who does not have notes when we begin mixing potions will find him or herself scrubbing cauldrons. Now, are there any questions? Good. Now copy don your assignment from the board and then read silently and outline from chapter one and   
two in your Potions 101 textbook." With that, Professor Pilis sat at his desk and got strait to work.   
  
::James' POV::   
  
Potions class with the Ravenclaw house would have been rather enjoyable...if it weren't for them. How could Sirius go after my girl? He knows how I feel about her, she is all I have been talking about since that day on the train for fuck's sake! Look at them, whispering...giggling, ah hell, It's sickening! I swear if it is the last thing I do, Sirius Black will pay for this. Bloody Hell! They're passing notes now! probably some mushy poetry 'oh Sirius, my heart beats for you.' a heavy sigh slips past my tightly controlled exterior as I wish that she were sending notes like that to me. The betrayer jumps slightly as he spots me out of the corner of his eye, and turns around to quickly scribble something on the note and push it back toward Lily, the light of my life. he seems nervous as he keeps his eyes strictly on the teacher until Lily hands him the parchment back. Good. I hope he chokes on it! Sirius glances at the note and then...oh my god! he is holding hands with her!!! And she...she...she kissed him!? I   
cant handle this, I cant handle this!   
  
  
***   
  
  
Sirius giggles with Lily and she turns to write something on a slip of parchment. When she's done she blushes a bit and slides it over to Sirius. 'I think James is watching, he looks a bit miffed too... Why is that?' at that cue Sirius looks over his shoulder and jumps a bit, blushes and hides his face in his long dark locks as he turns his attention forward. Quickly he scribbles a note back to Lily, 'I don't know. You should ask him later' then slides it over to her. 'Sure you don't...Sirius Black you had better tell me right after class, or so help me...' was Lily's response. After reading it quickly, Sirius turns to her and winks with a twinkle in his eye as he grabs her hand and holds it softly in his won. With a smile she kisses him on the cheek, just as they had planned and then they both turn to copy down all of the formulas and such that Professor Pilis had assigned. The rest of the class went by rather quietly, Sirius and Lily were to busy working to flirt and James was able to talk Remus into letting him borrow the notes that evening so that he could spend his time glaring at the back of Black's head. If looks could do harm, Sirius would have long been transfigured into something small and nasty. When class ended James was so furious that he nearly hit Sirius before he could figure out what to say. The silence lasted only a few short seconds before he exploded.   
"Sirius, how could you? You know how I feel and you went and started carrying on with Lily!"   
  
Sirius could barely hold back a smirk as he feined shock."Oh James. I never dreamed that when you took m cloths the other morning, you were just trying to get in my pants!" And then he hugged James in a close and overly friendly way. "Oh Jamie, I never knew you cared so. Well, don't worry baby, I'm all yours."  
  
James just stood stock still until the shock wore off a bit, thanks in part to the laughter erupting all around them. With a shove, James pushed Sirius away. "What in the blue hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Oh Jamie my pet, don't fuss so. Lily means nothing to me, I aware. 'Twas just a bit of fun." With a bold smile on his face Sirius' tone went a bit flat. "Maybe you will think twice before you hid a bloke's cloths on him again." With that Sirius left a very shocked and dazed James in the dungeons with Lily close at his heels.  
  
"And what was that all about?"Lily grabbed Sirius' arm and pulled him to a stop near the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"You saw that prank that James pulled on me the other morning, I thought I would get him back a bit. He's been going on and on about how pretty you are and I thought I would give him a bit of a shock." His self-satisfied smile faded when he saw the look of bewilderment on Lily's face. "Oh Lily, I'm sorry. I really should have told you the whole story before I talked you into all of this... I just thought that it was obvious by the way he looks at you. He truly is infatuated..."  
  
"But...well, why doesn't he say anything?" Lily asks, feeling a bit hurt.  
  
"Well, he's got a girlfriend, and I'm not sure if he is ready to let her go for someone who might just break his heart."  
  
"oh." Lily sighed softly and then looked up at Sirius. "And how do you feel, Siri?" She asks cautiously.  
  
"What, Jamie? No, he's not my type. I tend to go for the 'strong silent type.'" He smiles but is again meet with a confused Lily. "Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood."  
  
"No, no, it's just that I didn't realize that you...well...that you fancy lads instead of lasses, that's all." she smiled softly and led the way into the common room, glad that potions was the last class of the day. Boy did she ever have something to write about in her journal. 


End file.
